Now, since I've calmed down and thinking sanely, I want to make myself crystal clear..
Yes..I did say that I'm gonna let it go..
but do you think my friendship is that shallow??
So shallow that I can just forget someone just with a wink of an eye??
When I call someone my friend, I love them with all my heart..
I will be willing to sacrifice even if it ends up hurting me..
All just to see the other person smile and be happy..
And you expect me to just forget??
Maybe you don't know me as much as you think you do..
but all my attempts to hurt her hurts me even more..
my attempts and my actions are my way of punishing myself..
I want to punish myself for caring for people the way I did..
I want to punish myself for allowing people to hurt me the way they did..
I want to punish myself so that I won't make the same mistake of caring for others the way I did for her..
I want to punish myself so that I don't repeat this mistake in the future..
Have you been hurt the way I have??
if you don't, you DEFINITELY don't know what it is like to be
the ONLY ONE who cares without being cared back
the ONLY ONE who loves without being loved back
Because it hurts much more that it looks
and I have been hurt a lot..
I don't expect people to take pity on me
or remind me of all the things I've done for her..
or pour fire to the already burning flames..
I just want people to be considerate when handling this issue..
'Coz I've learnt my lesson..
I'm not gonna let anyone close to me anymore..
or care for anyone anymore..
'Coz people have gotta change if they are to survive in this cruel world..
Hope it is not too much to ask of you..